Hopes and Hazards II

It feels good. Feels good to feel it again.
Just the idea of you being there.
Whether you know it or not.
Just love that feeling.

But it's just a matter of time.
I know. I can feel it.
It's just a matter of time and it'll all fall apart.
Just like it always has.

My illusions. My hopes.
If only there'd been a reality in them.
A possibility. A future.
I would have tried to hold on.

Have tried my chances though.
Reasoned with myself.
Convinced myself to end it. Once and for all.
Failed everytime. Starting to believe I love my own misery.