Sorry

I hate what happened today.
It didn't go the way I thought it would.
That's probably the reason why I feel bad.
And also the fact that you just seem to mislead me. Unintentionally maybe.
But still it hurts. To crash so hard.
Gone through this feeling.
More than once. More than I should have.
But it pains every damned time. The same if not more.

I don't want to blame you.
And I don't want you to blame me.
But that's the only thing that happened today.
That's how i feel. You insisted that wasn't the case.
But I could sense it. Maybe you haven't realized it.

I couldn't let you go. I couldn't keep you.
And in the end I just hurt you. And ended up all messed up.
I am scared. I told you this.
But I still feel you don't really get it.
The barrier just doesn't let me get past it.
I haven't tried at all I know. But still I know my limits.
That's where I falter but then you are blaming me for something else.
I'd rather if you blamed me for the right reason.

You said a lot of things today.
Was amazed at how you saw right through me.
But you missed a lot too.
And the things you overlooked, I couldn't seem to put them to words.
I don't want to muse over this. Not any deeper than I currently am.
What's the point of anything if you already know the conclusion.
This is the end and for a better reason.
Something better than that lingering hope. Or the hopelessness perhaps.

Didn't want to hurt you like this.
I just took a chance. Towards something uncertain.
Knowing well enough I'd hurt either or both of us.
And managed that pretty well as it is.
Just wanted to say I am sorry.