You III

It's been a while, I've been trying
Trying to prove to you
That your existence means nothing to me. Not anymore.

Maybe it affects you, maybe it doesn't
All of it hinges on one single fact
The fact whether you know
Or choose to see what you mean to me
That you do mean something to me

It's been a while,
Or maybe it's been for the time as long as I can remember
That I have been trying to know,
To figure out whether you do mean anything to me at all
Or is it just my desire to find bliss in the feeling of love or something like that

All the while I try to understand the reality,
The truth or the way it projects itself to be
I let myself be battered by your brutal honesty
Or maybe the perfect camouflage that you wear
To hide every strand of truth

At the end of it all,
I hate you for everything you stand for
For the reality of your existence
And I hate myself for failing to understand
The reality of my feeling or its non-existence

Am I still in love?
Have I fallen out of love?
Or, was I never in love?